Abbi was 7 when we went to visit friends in Phoenix, Ariz. Abbi was obsessed with their stairs and kept walking up and down from the first to second floors, counting the steps (This was back when she was able to count all the way to 10. She can count to 30 now).

We would listen to her counting as we made fudge in the kitchen. The front door was locked on the handle, and she hadn’t yet figured out how to undo those locks. At home we had a difficult deadbolt, but when visiting someone new, you can’t exactly install extra locks on their doors.

I was no more than eight feet from where she went up and down the stairs. Suddenly I realized I hadn’t heard her counting in a while, and went to go see which bedroom she had snuck into upstairs. As I turned the corner, I saw the front door just barely open. I didn’t even have to go upstairs to know that she had been the one to open the door. Panic.

I ran outside and couldn’t see her anywhere on the street or in the yards down the block. It was 8 p.m., it was dark and it was deadly quiet. It was the middle of Phoenix, with strangers, and criminals, and busy roads, and canals.

I stuck my head in and screamed for everyone in the house to help me search the neighborhood. I ran all over the neighborhood and just picked a direction, sending my friends every other way they could go. In hindsight I should have called 911, but I was in a panic and looking for my baby. I screamed and screamed her name.

I finally made it around a corner about 3 blocks away and saw a man wrapping a jacket around a little frame. I prayed it was her.

When I got there, her pants were down around her ankles (she has NO hips to keep her pants up and when she runs they just flop down – we have since switched to leggings to avoid this problem).

I can only imagine what this man was thinking when he found her; a 7-year-old girl who can’t talk, pants around her ankles, running around in the darkness in the middle of the night in Phoenix. He called the police, and rightly so.

I assured the man, and the police officer, that I was her mother. After much talking and explaining and trying not to completely lose it, I was able to convince them that I had not in fact kidnapped her, I had not kept her locked in a basement her whole life (being unable to speak and all), and that I did not remove her pants. She had not escaped from a dangerous situation, she had wandered away from her friends and family in a strange place without any inclination that there might be danger outside.

I sobbed, I shook, I hugged her. Abbi just looked at me like I was crazy and wanted something to eat.

Tomorrow I am getting on a plane, something I have dreaded doing for many years, especially after 9/11– I have a phobia about planes, but I am doing this for my son. I want him to get the best medical care available and I will not settle for second-rate.

AutismOne is a conference put on in Chicago each year, headed up by Teri Arranga and her husband Ed. It features a collaboration of doctors and medical professionals who come from all over the world to share their scientific and medical knowledge related to autism. This year the Keynote Speaker for the conference is Robert F Kennedy Jr. A congressional panel will be held as well.

Teri and Ed are invested in the Autism community. They have two young men on the spectrum.  Teri is also the editor of Autism Science Digest, a magazine chock- full of autism science articles that you will not find on the waiting room table at your local Military Treatment Facility.

The families I’ve met during my autism journey have given me hope that my son will recover from the disabling aspects of autism.  They have given me inspiration to keep going when I just feel like throwing in the towel and giving up. I have many doctors and moms that I want to meet.

What do I want to learn as a parent of a child with autism? What do I hope to gain from AutismOne? I no longer view Autism as something that can solved with a magic bullet. I am not looking for that. I am looking for strategies of treatments that will compliment my son’s recovery progress.

I know that autism recovery for many is not a sprint, but a marathon. It’s just the starting line for some, the half-way point for others, and the finish for those that have been successful in getting their ASD child’s health back on track.

My child’s gut is being healed by steroids. I am thankful for modern medicine and feel the medical professionals at this conference have some great perspectives for how to help your child to improve in cognition, and be relieved of chronic constipation and diarrhea. I truly believe they care.

If you’re attending the event I would love to meet you and share your story. Unfortunately, there are many military parents who cannot attend this five-day conference. Perhaps, mom is gone on a deployment overseas, or dad is TDY for training. I’m traveling a long way to get there myself.

As a military wife, I can say being away from family is isolating; it must be how my husband feels when he deploys.

If you cannot attend the conference, there are many presentations that have listed PDF slides for viewing at home. Online slides are the backbone of many Army family training events, so I know there will be many that can relate to education slides. You can view the schedule here.

Take some time even if you can attend, and read some of the PDF slides. You might find something worth pursuing to help your child. I know I haven’t been able to attend conferences in the past, but I was able to gather information from the previous ones to be able to get my son auditory integration training, and take him to see a neurologist who specializes in hemisphere weakness. And yes, he did accept TRICARE.

I believe if you want your child to get better, you do have to do some work. It’s hard, but worth it. This week I will be working to help my son, but also to bring other military families valuable insight into what they can do to help their child.

We were lucky. Some are not. There is nothing that makes us better parents than those of Owen, Mikaela, and Drew. It was sheer luck that Abbi made it. We have to have a team of people to help make sure Abbi doesn’t wander every moment of every day. It can happen to any family who has a child with Autism, no matter how careful you are.

Abbi was 2 years old. Two friends of mine and I had gone to a small craft store in our home town. In the back room was a playroom for kids to play in while parents shopped.

There was one door outside and Abbi would have had to sneak past four adults standing between the play room and the front door to escape. We thought she was safe, and playing happily.

Suddenly, I realized I didn’t hear her playing. I went to check the playroom and she wasn’t there. I checked the bathroom (she loves water). I checked under all the craft tables, and around the room. Nothing. The last place I would have thought she could have gone is outside, but there were no other options.

No one saw her go out the door; four adults between her and the door, and no one saw.

My heart was racing and I ran outside, calling her name.

Just as I went out, I saw a stranger scooping her up out of a busy four-lane road. The stranger wouldn’t hand her back to me, telling me that I should lose my rights as her parent for not paying attention to where she was. I cried, and yelled, and my friends came to back me up and make sure that I got my daughter back. I don’t remember what happened after I got her in my arms except that I cried and shook and held her tighter than ever.

I still feel guilt about that day. How could I have known? We had done everything we could to prepare for making sure she was OK, safe, happy. Somehow she sneaked past four adults and a heavy door with a bell on it. I don’t know how she did it to this day, but she did.

This was our first wandering experience with Abbi girl; one tragedy missed only by luck and the help of an intervening stranger–someone who bravely saved and defended my daughter when she couldn’t help herself.

Today is Armed Forces Day, a national day to recognize the honor and sacrifice by all members of America’s military.

Whether you have served one day in the military or you personify a lifetime of service, today is for you. America is grateful for your service.

For our military members who have a family member with autism, you serve above and beyond, and deserve an extra salute.

This day have been around almost as long as the Department of Defense. It was originally announced by Secretary of Defense Louis Johnson on August 31, 1949. The recognition of all our armed forces replaced individual Army, Navy and Air Force Days and was signified unification of all services under the recently created Department of Defense.

President Harry Truman announced the official day on Feb. 27, 1950, through a proclamation stating, “Armed Forces Day, Saturday, May 20, 1950, marks the first combined demonstration by America’s defense team of its progress, under the National Security Act, towards the goal of readiness for any eventuality. It is the first parade of preparedness by the unified forces of our land, sea, and air defense.”

Service to our country can be difficult in itself. For many the days are long, tough and stressful. The moves, requirements and being on call 24 hours a day, every day is part of the military lifestyle.

The military members go through a lot, and it takes a lot out of you. Many members have security clearances that pre-empt any discussion of how work actually was. Often the military member has to hold back on a lot of stresses, especially in a deployed environment, as to not concern the family back on the homefront.

When you have to deploy at a moment’s notice and leave your family behind, you miss out on life. Not just the birthdays, holidays and weekend outings, but the simple things that most people take for granted, such as a smile, having dinner together and living life.

This is especially difficult if your child has autism. You cannot be there for supporting them and if something really goes wrong, you are half a world away.

The other 99 percent of our nation’s citizens have no idea how hard it is to do some of the things our families do. But they are supportive of your role, regardless or politics or perspective on war.

On this 63rd celebration of your service, enjoy your day.

Mother’s Day is a special opportunity to recognize the importance of moms in our society.

But today is about more than just celebrating motherhood for our Autism community.

Simply put to all our mothers out there, today is a day to honor your commitment and sacrifice.

You are a mother. You are a warrior for your children.

Being part of a military society, the term warrior is often associated with the lifestyle of service. This is you in more ways that you know.

You fight, you face the challenges that families not in the military might not appreciate and you are what make today’s military family function.

Whether serving on active duty, Guardsman or Reservist, or as the critical role of Commander in Chief della casa, you play a crucial role in keeping the family as a cohesive unit.

There are so many facets to your service: deployments, exercises, TDYs, permanent change of station moves, operational necessity, and being the rock for others. You are at the center of all these, regardless of whether you wear the uniform or not. The work may feel unappreciated, but you are very much appreciated.

The mother warrior deals with all the above, with life and and something more. There is Autism Spectrum Disorder and perhaps other challenges as a special needs parent.

To all of you who never back down and never give up, the community salutes you. You are the brave, the inspiring and the ones who are changing the world.

You are part of the military community, yet different. You are part of the Autism community, yet different. You are a Mother Warrior and deserve recognition for all you do through the tough fight to set your children up for success in this tough world.

This is no slight to the dads, who celebrate a day of their own next month, but every one of them are most likely to give the credit to the mom. It’s important to note that on our Facebook page 80.8 percent ( up from 80 percent last year) of the over 3,400 community members are women. While all might not be mothers, a large proportion of the commenters on our daily questions, posts and interactions are.

It’s these mother warriors asking the questions no one wants to answer to find a solution that doesn’t exist for children on the autism spectrum. These mother warriors are persistent and showing the true love they have for their children by never, never, never giving up.

Thank you moms for keeping up the fight  in our war on autism. Together we can make a difference!

Whether caring to admit it or not, everyone who has every attended school has been impacted by a teach in some fashion.

If you’re in the first category, you might be interested that today is National Teacher Appreciation Day and May 6-10 is National Teacher Appreciation Week.

While the day is a general recognition of the great teachers who have changed lives, it also needs to serve as an opportunity to say thanks to all the teachers who have made a difference for our family members with autism spectrum disorder.

Think for a moment of all the people in your child’s life who have gone the extra mile for them. Ask yourself this: what teacher, or teachers, do you appreciate, and why?

There’s a lot of people who can fit the role of a teacher outside of the normal school structure. For instance, would you consider your ABA therapist a teacher? How about the speech therapist, special education team lead, or other person who works directly with your child? In a special education environment, even an aide can act in the form of a teacher, providing vital feedback and encouragement to the student.

Today is a great chance to reflect on those who have served in a teaching capacity and made a difference. Take the time to give thanks to those who will make such a difference in your child’s future, or have in yours.

To our surprise American Military Families Autism Support was again recognized for the important role it plays in supporting military families dealing with autism spectrum disorder.

AMFAS was recognized in two different platforms this year– for both Facebook and the Blog selections. AMFAS was highlighted as No.5 overall among an incredible list of Facebook pages. See the list here.

In 2012, AMFAS was awarded No. 1 Autism Facebook page.

This year, AMFAS received rankings in a number of different categories:

• #3 Most Informative
• #4 Most Supportive
• #4 Best for Activism
• #5 Best Overall
• #9 Therapy and Education

“What’s awesome about these awards is that it’s a reflection on our great community of military families, working together to make a difference,” said Nicholas Sabula, AMFAS founder.

Babble.com also recognized AMFAS for its blog site featuring a collection of military family blogs. Visit the site to the award here.

An email from Babble editors read, “In honor of Autism Awareness Month, Babble rounded up the Top 30 Autism Spectrum Blogs of 2013 – and yours was selected among them! Whether providing parents of autistic children with inspirational words, or giving young people living with the disorder a place to go for support, your blog serves as a reminder that they are not alone – and for that, we are grateful.”

In addition to being listed among the top 5 autism blogs for 2013, it was also recognized in the following categories:

• #1 For Parents of Teens
• #10 From Dad’s Perspective

“What’s unique about this effort is that it’s main objective is to highlight and promote the incredible work of our community members, who are telling the stories of military life and autism,” Sabula said.

See the full listing of the Top 30 Autism Blogs of 2013 here.

Any military family with a blog related to autism is welcome to add their blog by simply emailing their blog information (with owner’s approval to list it) to blogs@amfas.org or by filling out this online form.

AMFAS was started in 2008 with the mission of providing news, information, community and support to all military families dealing with autism spectrum disorder. Visit AMFAS.org for more information on how to get involved.

 I am an Army wife and mother of four. My husband and I are stationed in Fort Lewis, Wash., and we have one daughter, age 5, and three sons, ages 2, 4, and 9. All of our boys have autism. My husband has been in the Army for about three years now and during that time we not only faced the hardships of adjusting to this new lifestyle, but we were hit with the reality that there is definitely a genetic component to autism.

My oldest son was already diagnosed years ago, but in the last 18 months we have faced the diagnosis of our other two boys. I really wanted to find support here, and I found it extremely challenging trying to balance my busy life with trying to meet more families like mine locally.

There was also the constant battle of explaining the special needs of my children whenever we were in public. I decided to throw myself into increasing the network of parents here at Joint Base Lewis McChord and I began leading a parent support group that meets monthly at the Children’s Museum of Tacoma. The group has rapidly increased in size, but the majority was civilian families. This is where the concept for the autism walk began. I wanted to create an event that would draw families like mine out and give them an opportunity to connect with their community, share their story, and increase awareness locally in support of their children with Autism.

I proposed the idea to my husband’s unit, the 593rd Sustainment Brigade. I was astounded by their willingness to jump on the idea and help me make it a great success! They helped me access rentals from the MWR and gave me a staff of volunteer soldiers to help run the eight booths which offered resources, food, and yard games.

The best way I could think to really have a visual impact at the event and allow families to in some way share their story was to create the signs. I collected information from EFMP and the school district and determined that 150 signs would be a good approximation of the number of school age children here and around JBLM diagnosed with Autism. I thought I was aiming too high, but amazingly nearly 70 families contacted me wanting their children’s names on signs! I collected photos and names of all the children and the remaining signs bore the “1 in 88” statistic that was released at that time by the CDC as the risk for autism. (Since the event, this number has changed to 1 in 55 I believe).

Now the challenge I faced was creating a successful event that could entertain a large number of people, with no money. I got creative and made a few calls. Families helped spread the word and small $3-$5 donations showed up here and there, but the greatest help came from some local stores that donated some of the supplies or discounted them for me. Home Depot donated 150 long paint sticks to mount the signs, and Joanne Fabric never batted an eye when I came in there with 20 printed coupons!

One by one I put the signs together, created two large banners, and 22 large signs with facts about autism that were posted along the route of the walk. I had some amazing volunteers help me when they were able, but by April 1 my living room was taken over!

It was a constant emotional roller coaster preparing this event. I was so happy to connect with all the families that participated and every time I felt overwhelmed and wanted to quit, my email would ring with a new child’s photo and I would be reminded of why this was so important.

The day of the event was amazing. I was able to coordinate with the developmental pediatrics staff at Madigan and have Dr. Geneman speak at our event. We also had representatives from Air Force EFMP, Army EFMP, and the commander of the 593^rd address our audience about the impact of autism, how families can find support, and how our community can support us.

I spoke on behalf of the families and shared a bit about my story.

After the walk I was in tears. There were parents who came and thanked me for sharing my story and felt they were represented well.

This event was a great success and I hope I will be here next year to push for another one in April 2014!

Thanks to Carolina for sending us this interesting Infographic (graphic courtesy of www.nursedegree.net)

Have an autism or special needs support group with no connection to AMFAS? We want to help you.

Since being started in 2008, American Military Families Autism Support has had a keen focus of trying to provide help and support to military families stationed at any location worldwide through our grassroots efforts.

The truth is that there are a ton of installations and communities out there and lots of families are still finding out about what we offer.

Since 2010 we’ve been working to expand our AMFAS Groups program, locally-run autism support communities with the common AMFAS theme and standards. AMFAS currently has 36 local support communities for military families dealing with autism. However, there are a lot of installations where either an AMFAS Group hasn’t been established since a local sponsor hasn’t requested to start one or that AMFAS found there is currently adequate support available at the installation by another group.

There are incredible established groups out there who are already providing support and information to military families in their areas.

Our mandate here is trying to ensure that when a military family moves from place to place, that there is a good hand off. As military families, not a corporation, AMFAS team members understand this. We’re in your shoes too.

With lots of groups being stood up, there is still a lack of information about what is available at what location. We’d like to fix that and help these groups support and contribute to our national effort.

Because of this AMFAS started the AMFAS Affiliate Program, meant to help improve an already broad support network for military families located worldwide.

Any group supporting families with autism or other special need is able to join. The benefits of this are obvious: affiliated groups gain access to support from AMFAS and are included in our Affiliated Groups listing, a subset of our Groups listing to help support non-AMFAS efforts.

By becoming an affiliate, groups are provided opportunities to network and access support content in the AMFAS network. They are part of a military autism coalition. Non-autism groups are also welcome to join the affiliated network and will be listed in the Worldwide Installation Resource or other locations on the AMFAS website.

Outside community groups interested in joining the AMFAS Affiliate Program must agree to some basic terms such as military family focused and must respect all member’s perspectives on care. Non-military groups are welcome to affiliate with AMFAS, with the understanding that our focus is the military family.

Groups can become official AMFAS groups at any time by agreeing to our standardized terms of support. For more information, simply send us a note to groups@amfas.org to get started or visit the AMFAS Affiliate page.

Do you or someone you know have an autism or non-autism support group? Why not become part of our AMFAS Affiliate Program. Our focus is  http://amfas.org/community/affiliate-program